I'm Lost Without You
by Writerandreader
Summary: Full story! Yay! Mandy still loves Derek, even though he left her at a bad time. After trusting Scott with her secret, she learns that some find that sweet while others want to strangle Scott. Can she keep her friendship AND please Derek?
1. He's Back

**Chapter1-He's Back**

His soft fingers touched my cheek lightly, wiping the tears away. "Mandy, I'm here now."

"Where were you when I needed you?" I yelled. My voice shook and I couldn't control my anger. He abandoned me when I needed him the most. When I was unstable and unable to control myself. I wasn't myself at all.

He looked down at our entwined hands. "I know I left. But I-I needed to get away. I was lost."

"Do you-" I wanted to ask him if he remembered me now. But I couldn't. What if he didn't remember what happened between us? A lot happened to me last summer. A lot I couldn't understand let alone explain.

He stroked my dark hair softly. "Do I what?"

I shook my head. "No, I can't."

"Mandy, you can ask me anything. You know that."

I pushed his hand away and took a step away from him. "I can't do this, Derek. Let me-just forget about me."

"Forget you? No, I can't-I won't." He said, sadness filling his eyes. He never looked so upset.

I tried to rush out of the room and leave but Derek wouldn't let me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pushed me back into the wall behind him.

I struggled under his weight and tried pushing him away. It wasn't working. "Let me go!"

"Listen to me, Mandy." He said, his face so close to mine. His warm breath hit against my face, pushing my black hair up.

I shook my head. I wasn't taking him back. I couldn't. Not after he ruined my life forever. He deserved to pay. "Forget it, Derek. You left me when I needed you. I needed you more than anything. You knew that. You can't come back and act like everything is okay. That's not how it works."

He pressed his lips to mine, soft at first, then growing more and more forceful. I whimpered a small moan and tried to pull away. I didn't want this. I knew I didn't. I didn't want _him. _Not after he ruined me.

"No." He whispered, his breath hitting my lips. "I can't let you go."

I opened my eyes slowly, our brown eyes holding each others. "You remember everything?"

He stroked my face again. "Of course I do. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

I rolled my eyes. How freaking sappy could he be? And Derek of all people. He wasn't sweet or romantic. He couldn't even figure out how to set up a nice date. How the hell was he being sweet?

I couldn't believe what was happening. Was I really taking him back? Believe it or not, I was. I shut my eyes and hugged him tightly. "Can we get out of here? This place is creeping me out."

He hugged me back before taking my hand again. "Mandy?"

I was trying to avoid anymore conversations he decided to have. I was being hateful. But if he knew, he'd understand. I hope. Sometimes having a closed mind was good... I think.

He stopped me and looked at me carefully. "Mandy, did you tell anyone, besides me, that you're a... witch?"

I looked away. Damn it! No way could I tell him that I told someone. And if he found out I told Scott, he'd kill Scott. But-how would he feel when I tell him? Would he blow up in my face like I think he will? I'd be screwed forever. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him.

"Just tell me. Did you?"

I nodded, swallowing hard. Here it was. He'd blow up about it and Scott would be dead. I knew he couldn't control his anger. It was becoming easier for him to attack anyone. But it wasn't like Scott couldn't attack him back.

He was quiet as we walked and I was scared. My heart was beating like crazy. What if he got mad at me?

Tears threatening to come out, I squeezed his hand. "Are you mad at me?"

He thought over his answer carefully. He looked down at me and his eyes were soft. "No, I'm not."

I looked at him, deathly afraid of what was coming. But he needed to know. "After you left, I told Scott."

Derek growled, his eyes narrowing.

Crap. Here it was. Now I couldn't hide anything. I bit my lip and tried desperately to hide how scared I was. I was stronger than that now. Wasn't I?

* * *

><p><em>Third pov<em>

"She told you? What would make her think that she could trust you?" Derek growled, slamming Scott against the wall. He was pissed beyond belief. He trusted Mandy, even more since he came back. But he couldn't trust Scott. No matter how close they seemed to be.

Scott, scared to death, stuttered, "I-I don't know. She came to me. She said she needed someone to talk to."

"How did she know she could trust you?" Derek said through gritted teeth. His head was pounding from the anger and hatred he felt at the moment. He didn't know what to think.

"I don't know, Derek. What the hell is going on?" Scott yelled, so confused he thought he was going to explode.

Derek let go of Scott and started pacing. What the hell _was_ going on? No one knew.

"Derek, what are you talking about? You left, remember?" Scott said, trying not to piss off Derek. It didn't take much.

Derek slammed his pale fist into the wall closest to him. "Quit bringing that up!"

Scott moved back by the window, as far away from Derek as possible, and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn't was to admit that he was afraid of Derek. He was. But he wasn't terrified. He could stand up for himself. But if that didn't work, reasoning was on his side.

"Look, I know I left. I was stupid. But I'm back now and I want answers, Scott. Don't make me beat them out of you."

Scott swallowed hard. "I don't go around telling people secrets. Especially ones like ours. I'm not that kind of person." He sighed. "Mandy's a great girl... and I know you can kick my ass if I do anything to hurt her. Do you really think I'd say anything to anyone?"

He ignored everything but Scott's last statement. "You're friends with Stiles, he can't be trusted."

"Stiles? He's kept my secret for almost a year! I trust him, you should too." Scott yelled, gritting his teeth.

"Not with my girlfriend, I don't." Derek growled, his eyes shooting daggers at Scott. He loved Mandy. He didn't want her getting hurt along with himself. He needed to keep her safe. He'd risk his life for her. Scott wasn't helping that at all.

Scott rolled his eyes and sat down on his bed. "Are you going to stay?"

"What?" Derek asked, narrowing his eyes. Why the _hell_ would he stay at Scott's?

"Are you gonna stay with her or leave again?"

Derek sighed, all of his anger gone. "I don't know yet. But I'm not leaving Mandy again."


	2. You're Not Helping

**Chapter2-You're Not Helping**

_Mandy pov_

I sat on my bed, watching Samantha pace across my room. Her wavy, blonde hair swayed as she moved. It didn't help anything. "Samantha! Knock it off!"

Samantha plopped down on my bed suddenly and ran her hands through her hair. "I'm sorry! I need to think."

"I don't have all day. I told you Derek was coming over."

Samantha shot me a dark look. "Seriously?"

"What?"

"That stupid idiot left you! Why would you take him back?" She yelled, her voice echoing through the house.

I sighed. Couldn't she keep her personal thoughts to herself? I didn't want to hear all of this. "I think I might love him."

"Love? What the hell do you know about love?"

I laughed and got to my feet. "You're only fourteen, Sam. What do _you _know about love?"

"I know that you are too... immature to be in love. He's scary, Mandy. I wouldn't risk it." She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

I threw a pillow at her and went to grab my buzzing phone from my dresser. "He's only scary to you, Sam. And besides, I'm not just a weak human."

Samantha gasped and her eyes widened with sadness. "Weak? I am not weak. Why would you say that?"

I tackled her off my bed and to the floor. "What are you talking about? You're not a human either."

She froze as she looked up at me, her green eyes widening in confusion. Then she laughed and pushed _me_ onto my back. "I know that. But if mom heard you say that..." She shook her head, sighing.

I rolled my eyes. My parents tried being normal. My father was a wizard, powerful and able to spread his powers through his genes. My mother was a human, nothing more or less. They had an unbelievable connection and couldn't wait to have kids. It took my mom a year with my dad before they were moving into a bigger house. My mom was nineteen when she married my dad, twenty when she had me. Surprising how crazy two people can be when they love each other.

My mom hated when I or my sister made fun of humans. It was never directed towards her but she still thought it was demeaning. It was. I never thought of it that way. But I didn't bag on them constantly. I wasn't that rude.

"Can you just... can you please leave before Derek gets here?"

She smiled. "Already taken care of." She pushed off of the floor and headed towards the door. "See, already half way there."

I rolled my eyes and sat back down on my bed.

She opened the door and saw Derek there. I swear she would've fainted or died there on the spot. I don't know how she kept herself together. Well, as well as she did. Her eyes widened and as quick as it took her to notice him standing there she was out of sight.

He smiled his small smile and shut the door softly. "Still scared of me?"

I laughed. "Apparently."

He sat down beside me, taking my hand in his. "You aren't scared of me, are you?"

I leaned into his side loving how soft and warm he felt to me. Why would I be scared of him? Sure he was a werewolf who couldn't control his anger but he never attacked me. I trusted him. "Nope."

He wrapped his arm around me, resting his cheek on my head. "Why doesn't she like me?"

"Who, my sister?"

He nodded.

I laughed. "She loves me, Derek. I can't help that."

"She's a little too protective, don't you think?"

"Were you eavesdropping?" I asked, looking up at him. That was so not cool.

He looked a little guilty. "I couldn't help myself."

I rolled my eyes. "You know I hate when-Wait, what all did you hear?"

He smirked, looking highly amused. "Only... you know... that you love me?"

I blushed like crazy and looked away immediately. I didn't think he would've heard that. Then again, I didn't know he was listening to Samantha and I. I sighed and tried to act like it wasn't a big deal. "Yeah, so?"

"That doesn't have to be a bad thing." He said, watching me carefully.

Yeah, it kind of was. He was a werewolf without a good grip on his humanity. I, on the other hand, was a witch who, occasionally, lost the ability to produce the right spell. That couldn't be good for a relationship. Especially not ours. My sister was right, he was dangerous and he could hurt me if he wanted to. Was I willing to forget all of that just to be with him? Could I be that selfish?

I looked down at my hands and sighed. Tears swelled up in my eyes and a few dropped to the linens on my bed. "I do like you, Derek. I might even love you, but-"

"But." He said, taking a deep breath and sighing it out, preparing to hear bad news.

"If we're going to be together, I need you to promise me something."

"Anything." He said softly, stroking my wet cheek.

I looked up at him through wet eyelashes. "Please don't leave me again."

He looked like he was about to get mad at me. And, for a second, I thought he would hit me. But he didn't do either of those things. He looked so sad. He wasn't going to cry. Ha, nope, not Derek Hale. He took my chin in his warm hand and lifted it to his face. He kissed me with everything inside him, all the pain and hatred towards himself for leaving. I felt it all. It made me feel better but worse all at the same time.

He pulled away but kept my chin, staring into my brown eyes. "I won't leave unless you're with me." He stroked the tears off my cheek and kissed my forehead softly. "I've missed you so much."

I pushed him arm away as hard as I could and threw my arms around his neck. I crushed myself to him, hugging him as hard as I could. "Thank you."

He hugged me back softly, remembering easily that I was so much weaker than him.

I pulled back early and wiped the final amount of tears off my cheeks. My phone started buzzing again. I didn't even remember forgetting to answer the first time. I sighed and got my phone. Scott. How was I-oh, right. Derek never listened in on any phone calls I got. He was sweet like that. And thank goodness he did that.

"Hello?"

'Hey, Mandy.'

I sighed. "Why'd you call?" Derek wouldn't be happy if he found out I was talking to Scott. Especially not after what happened the night he got back.

Scott laughed. 'Is your sister home?'

"Sadly."

'What do you mean 'sadly'?'

"I mean, I don't really like her. She's super annoying." Behind me, Derek laughed.

'I can tell you of another annoying person.' He said almost as a growl.

"Don't say-" I started quickly.

'He's there, isn't he?'

"Mhm." I said, the only way I could answer him without Derek finding out. I didn't want Derek to get mad at me again. What if he left me?

'Great. I'll attempt to be quite. Is he listening to this call?'

"Nope." He hadn't listened to my calls ever. That doesn't mean he won't listen in occasionally.

'Huh.'

"Yeah. She's in her room."

'Wish me luck.' He said, sighing.

I laughed. "Only you would need it." I hung up and sat down right in Derek's arms. "Are you staying the night?"

He shrugged. "Do you want me to?"

I rolled my eyes and looked up at him. "I'd only ask if I wanted an answer."

I couldn't read his expression but my best bet was that he was amused. He kissed me softly, his hands sliding up into my hair. To a lot of people's surprise, Derek didn't feel me up. He respected me. I loved that about him.

He looked up at me, breaking the kiss. "I'll stay tonight."

I smiled. "Yay."

He hugged me, looking down at me. "Was that Scott?"

I froze. No, I couldn't tell him. He'd know I lied. I closed my eyes and nodded, waiting for the wrath to begin.

"He likes your sister?"

I nodded. He didn't know?

"Does she... know?" That he's a werewolf? No. She didn't.

"Not that I know of. I'm not sure... how she'd take it." I said slowly.

"She's your sister. She could take it better than most people do." He said, a smile slowly spreading on his face.

I looked up at him, my eyebrows scrunching together. "Are you talking about me?"

He laughed. "Don't you remember when I told you?"

I shrugged. "I was fourteen. I was a stupid teenager back then."

"What are you now?"

I laughed. "A stupid werewolf's girlfriend."

"Yeah, and that werewolf could leave right now." He sounded completely seriously.

I grabbed his shirt in my fist and pulled him closer to me. I locked the door with the flick of a finger. "Don't even think about it."

He kissed me lightly. "Don't even think of using that finger on me."

"It never even crossed my mind." I said, rolling my eyes.


	3. The Hate Is Just As Strong

**Chapter3-The Hate Is Just As Strong**

"He stayed the night? Why would you let him do that?" Samantha yelled at me, whispering as loud as she could. Did I mention that she hated Derek? She hated him, couldn't tell it to his face, but could talk about him forever. She knew everything that had happened to Derek, with his house burning and his family dying, and told me it'd happen to me if I didn't leave Derek alone. Derek would protect me. With his life if he had to.

I rolled my eyes. She needed to stop hating him so much. He was mine. And he loved me. "He's my boyfriend, Sam. He's allowed to stay."

"Did mom and dad say he could stay?"

I shrugged. Whether he was allowed or not, I'd make an excuse on why he was here all night. I'd get away with it somehow. I always did. "No."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm almost Scott's girlfriend and you don't see me sleeping with him."

"Almost? And, seriously, you wouldn't know the first thing about sleeping around with guys." No doubt Derek could hear me. And what the hell was I babbling about? Great. Now she'd think I was a slut. Nice move, me.

She laughed and it was obvious she was getting a kick out of me screwing myself. "What would you know, Mandy?"

"That you're too young to have guys stay the night with you." I said, shrugging. I was going to keep my mouth shut from now on. Since I couldn't say anything smart. That was so typical of me.

"So you wouldn't be totally pissed if I had sex with Scott, would you?" She asked hesitantly. She looked nervous, freaked out. What had she done?

"Oh my gosh!" I yelled, covering my mouth with both of my hands. "You didn't!"

At first she looked like she was going to cry, like she was so guilty it was stabbing her in the stomach. Then she smiled and started laughing hysterically, tears rolling down her cheeks. "No, I didn't. I just wanted to see the look on your face."

I walked back to my room and, just as I shut my door, saw her get water splashed on her face. She looked up at me, glaring. I couldn't help myself. And she deserved it.

"So not cool!" She yelled, not caring if anyone heard. No doubt Derek could hear all that.

I smiled and walked back over to where Derek was still sleeping on my bed. I curled in beside him and his arms immediately wrapped around me. "Wake up." I said softly.

He stirred, his shaggy, dark hair falling over his eyes.

I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. It had gotten longer than the last time I saw him. He'd changed a lot since I last saw him, too. I kissed him lightly and he, finally, woke up.

"How long have you been up?" He asked in a hoarse, morning voice. His warm breath hit my hair, sending shivers down my body.

"Long enough to know that my sister still hates you." I mumbled, running my finger along his jaw.

He sat up beside me and pulled me into his arms. "You don't hate me, do you?"

I looked up at him, watching his expression. I could say I did but that would make him mad. Then he'd leave and I'd feel awful. I sighed and looked away. "No, but I'm still really pissed that you left. Even after you came back and apologized."

He kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry I left, Mandy. Don't you remember how bad things were getting around then? I was wrong, but I thought it was best for me to leave."

Tears in my eyes, I hid my face in his chest. Of course it was wrong for him to leave. I never wanted him to go. He did, without telling me when or why. It made me furious. Just because he explained his reason for leaving didn't mean I didn't want to beat the crap out of him.

I looked at the closed door, if I said anything I'd only regret it and probably piss Derek off. I kept my mouth shut and didn't bring up that subject anymore that day. Maybe that was a good thing.


	4. The Truth Comes Out

**Chapter4-The Truth Comes Out**

"Channel your anger in your magic." Scott said from behind me. The further away he was, the less in danger he was.

I relaxed and kept my eyes shut. I knew how to do this. I did. But could I really do it to Derek?

No, I couldn't. I trusted him. I really did. But I needed answers...

_Stop it!_ My mind yelled to me. If I found out the truth was what he had said, it wouldn't hurt anything. But what if he found out? He'd be so mad at me. He'd think I didn't trust him. That wasn't true at all.

I let out a deep breath and spoke the soft words. I needed to know the truth. I needed to know whether or not I could still trust Derek. For my own good. Couldn't he understand that much?

_What if I just got out? I could leave just like last time. Would she track me down if I did?_

_No, I couldn't. Not yet. It's too early to leave. But I know I will. Someday._

I came back to reality with a snap. I fell to the ground, a headache filling up the empty space in my head. How could he do that? How could he even consider that?

"Mandy, are you okay?" Scott asked, rushing to my side.

I nodded. "Just help me up."

He watched me closely. He knew something was up, obviously. "Where are you going?"

I shook him off and pulled my phone from my pocket. "I need to talk to Derek."

He ran after me, beating me to the door of my car. "Mandy, stop."

I looked up at him and narrowed my eyes. "Scott, move. I have to go."

"What are you going to say to him?"

"Why should I tell you?" I asked. He was starting to bug me. I needed to get to Derek. To tell him how much I hated him.

"Just tell me. What are you going to say?"

I rolled my eyes. "He's a jerk. You should've warned me about him."

Scott threw up his hands and sighed angrily. "I told you twenty times! No one ever listens to me!"

I got into my car and started it. I texted Derek, asking him where he was. I didn't want to spend all day looking for him. I had much more important things to do.

"Mandy."

"What?" I asked, really aggravated now. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"Don't go off and do something you'll regret."

"I'm tired of giving him second chances, Scott. It's not worth it." I mumbled, looking away from him.

"He loves you." Scott mumbled, straightening up. "Look, just call me when you're done."

I sighed. "Fine. But don't wait by the phone."

* * *

><p>I pulled up at my house and sighed. Derek wasn't here yet. Good. I got out and walked inside. "Hey, mom."<p>

She smiled at me. "Are you and Derek hanging out tonight?"

I smiled at her use of 'hanging out'. It made her sound a lot older. But the topic of her question made my smile disappear. "I don't know. Things aren't exactly perfect for us."

Her forehead creased and she sat down beside me. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shrugged. Did I want to bring up that I didn't trust him to my mom? She hadn't exactly opened him with wide arms when they first met. She knew he ran off but she let him be with me. Maybe it'd be easier to accept that we might not have a third chance. "N-not right now."

She patted my hand. "If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you."

I smiled apologetically. "Of course."

"Why don't you head up to bed? You look like you could use some sleep."

I wish. I wanted to sleep forever and never have to wake up. But Derek would be coming over and just the thought was driving me nuts. "Alright." I headed to my room and pushed open the door to see Derek sitting in my bed. "What are you doing here?"


	5. What Are You Doing?

**Chapter5-What Are You Doing?**

Derek was spread across my bed, his fingers threaded together behind his head. He didn't look totally happy to see me but I didn't feel that way about him. He was watching me closely, trying to study my every thought and move. "You wanted me here, didn't you?"

I couldn't think of what to say. I did want him there but... I did need time to think before then. How was I supposed to come up with something to say? I wanted to yell at him, to show him how stupid he truly was. But I couldn't do that. I just... didn't have it in me.

I swallowed and nodded. My voice was soft and quiet when I spoke. I knew he could see the sadness, to hear it. I couldn't hide it from him. "I didn't expect you here so soon."

"Why do you look so surprised to see me?" He asked. It was then that I knew he could notice I was guilty. He would pry answers from me. He would find out that I was with Scott and all my fears would be spread out in front of me, ready to pounce.

I ignored the fact that I wanted to punch him, to make him regret leaving me. I walked over to him and laid down beside him on my bed. "I was kind of hoping for some time before you came over. I was gonna get a shower."

"You still look beautiful."

"I may look beautiful but I smell awful."

He laughed and kissed me softly. "You smell just fine to me."

I couldn't do this to him. I just couldn't. I collapsed into him, my dam breaking, letting a million held in tears flow free. "Please don't leave me." I pleaded in a weak, defeated voice. "I need you so much."

Derek pulled me into his arms, hiding me from everything but him, and stroked my hair gently. "Mandy, I'm not leaving. I'm right here."

Anger broke through. Even more of a reason to hate myself. "I don't mean now. I mean... ever. I can't stand when you leave me."

He didn't say anything for a while. He didn't deny wanting to leave, though he didn't accept it, either. So he really thought that? He really thought of leaving me?

I pulled away from him and brushed my hair back. I felt like a mess. I probably looked like one too.

I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees. "How did you get in here?"

"Your mom let me in. She said I could wait up here for you."

I looked down at him. "Couldn't you have just waited for me... outside?"

He sighed. "You're not happy to see me."

I got to my feet and walked to the window, needing my space. I needed room to think. And I couldn't do that so close to him. "It's not that. I just... I wanted some time to myself. Before you came."

"I'm sorry."

I wiped my cheeks dry and pulled my phone from my pocket. Scott was calling. I gritted my teeth but answered anyway. "What?"

"Is your sister home?"

"I don't know. Call her yourself." I growled, hanging up afterward. I stuck my phone back into my pocket and turned around to look at Derek. "Can we get out of here?"

Derek watched me closely. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "I'm fine."

He got to his feet and walked over to me, taking my hand. "Mandy, something's bugging you. I can tell."

I shrugged, wishing he'd leave it alone. "It's not a big deal, Derek."

"No, Mandy. It is. You can tell me anything." He said, keeping me from walking away from him. He was watching me closely, waiting to see if I'd break down and cry again.

"I know. But _it's not a big deal_. Can we please just drop it?" I said, looking away from him.

He kissed me softly and took my other hand. "I don't want this to bother you. Please just tell me."

I looked at him straight in the eye and told him the truth. Nothing but the truth. "You were thinking of leaving me. I heard it in your thoughts."

He stared down at me, watching my eyes closely. I don't know what he saw, what he wanted to see. But it clearly hurt him. He lowered his head just a little and nodded. "I was."

I dropped his hands and walked to my book shelf. I pulled a book from the stack and walked to my bed. I sat down and flipped through the worn pages, quietly murmuring the titles. I stopped at the page I wanted and waved Derek over, not looking up at him.

I pointed to the simple, yet gruesome spell. "This. I used this to get into your thoughts. No one's safe in their head. Not around me."

"I don't know what to say." He said softly, staring down at the page.

"I do." I mumbled, wanting to mumble the words under my breath and hear what he was thinking now.

The words I needed to say were hard. I could barely get them out. But he needed to hear them. Even if it hurt us both. "I can tell you want out. You don't want to be with me. Go ahead and leave. I won't hold it against you."

Derek lifted my chin up and kissed me. His lips met mine softly though they didn't stay like that. He kissed me more passionately and opened my lips. His tongue brushed against my lip and I lost it.

I pushed him back, moving the book from my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair and stared down at him, breathing heavy.

"So you... don't want to leave?"

"Do I need to tell you again?" He asked, his chest rising under me deeply. He smiled and ran his fingers through my hair.

I shrugged. "It wouldn't hurt."


	6. Protecting

**Chapter6-Protecting**

"I gave in. Way too easily." I said, looking over at Scott. We were sitting on the floor, against a ton of lockers, at school. We had nothing better to do.

"But aren't you glad you have him back?" Scott asked, stuffing chips into his mouth.

I shrugged. "I love him but I don't want to be with him if he doesn't want to be with me back."

Every thought of mine revolved around Derek. I felt hopelessly in love. It was stupid to be in love as a teenager but what we had was a lot more different than any relationship I knew of. We weren't just kids in love. Well... I wasn't just a kid in love.

"Well, I'd suggest using that spell again but it didn't seem to work out too well that last time."

"I've been thinking of using it. If he really does want to leave me, I don't want to cover up how I really feel and just take him back again. I'm tired of being so soft."

Samantha walked over to us then and sat down beside Scott. "Derek's a jerk. Just break up with him if you're even considering it."

I leaned over Scott to glare at my sister. "Why are you here?"

She smiled, knowing she was interrupting something important. "I'm a good listener."

"We were in the middle of something." I growled, crossing my arms over my chest. I hated that my sister just had to go to my high school. We were only a year apart but that didn't stop her from being super annoying.

"Yeah. And now Scott's in the middle." She said, taking a chip from the bag I had brought.

I rolled my eyes and got to my feet, brushing crumbs off my lap. "I'm leaving."

Sam smiled that stupid I-know-I'm-bothering-you-smile. "Didn't take you long to cave."

I kept my voice low when I spoke. "If we weren't in public, you'd be in so much pain right now."

"And you think that scares me?" She asked, a hint of fear in her eyes. I knew it did. Any time I threatened to use magic on her, it scared her. She always backed down at that point. Even if she didn't say she was giving in.

"I'll call you later, Scott." I mumbled, walking out of the school. I didn't exactly know where I was going. I just wanted to be by myself.

* * *

><p>Okay, so I didn't spend the day by myself. Halfway through my walk into the woods, I got lonely and called the one person who wasn't at school.<p>

Derek met me in the woods only a few minutes after I called him. I was glad I didn't have to wait.

I leaned against his side, unable to keep the distance I had planned. Sure I was really mad that he left me. It was unbearable. But he was back. And even if I only got a few months with him, I wouldn't be mad that he was leaving me until it was time for him to go. I planned on enjoying every minute we were together.

I slowly flipped through my spell book, reading every line of every spell there was. I wasn't sure when I'd ever need to use half of these spells. Some of them were just plan stupid. But it wouldn't kill me to learn the majority of them.

It was a good thing Derek couldn't read my thoughts. If he even knew I was considering using the truth spell on him again, he'd hate me. What if he left me because of it?

I sighed and shut the book. I moved so I wasn't curled up with Derek. I needed some distance. "Can I ask you something?"

He took my hand and threaded his fingers through it. "Go ahead."

I thought he was going to say he didn't have anything to hide from me. Which would have made me mad. He hid a lot from me and I never knew if he was hiding things from me after he told me the truth.

I looked down at our hands instead of him. I was too afraid to even look at him when I'd ask the question. "Scott thinks you're hiding something. More than just thinking of leaving. Is it true?"

Derek sighed and I knew he was mad. Mad at me for talking to Scott, Scott for bringing that up with me. But he answered. Whether it was the truth or not... I didn't know. "Something's I have to keep hidden, Mandy, to protect you. If I told you everything I knew, I don't think you'd be alive right now."

I shut my eyes, tears filling them up. What could he possibly be hiding? And if Scott found out, would he tell me? "But would you if you could?"

"Yeah, I would." He said, squeezing my hand gently.

I pulled my hand away from his and moved back into his arms. I hugged him until I knew my tears were gone and my eyes wouldn't be so red.

"Let me take you home, Mandy." He said softly into my hair.

I nodded against his chest, not wanting to get up and move. He was so comfortable, his arms held me perfectly. I never wanted him to leave me.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry that it took so long for me to update this story. I lost inspiration and I couldn't think of anything to write.<strong>

**I'll try to have more chapters coming. But I'm going to stop the story after a few chapters.**

**Thanks for reviewing!**


	7. Going Back On My Word

**Chapter7-Going Back On My Word**

"You were right." I mumbled into my knees. Derek was lying. He wasn't just hiding stuff from me anymore. It had become worse than that.

Everything I had felt for Derek the day before was gone just as it came. I was so upset with him. He wouldn't tell me anything. He wouldn't let me in on any of his secrets. Because he was scared for me? No. He wasn't. I knew he didn't really care. He just didn't want to tell me anything.

Scott was pacing in front of me, his hands in his jeans' pockets. He stopped in front of me, a confused look on his face. "I was... Wait-right about what?"

I sighed and lifted my head a little. I felt pathetic, like I was letting one little thing drag me down. Sadly, that thing was Derek. "Derek's hiding something from me."

"And you're sure-" He started hesitantly.

I nodded and cut him off. "He told me, Scott. After I brought up what you said."

"He didn't tell you anything?" He asked, a sad look appearing on his face. He looked like he felt sorry for me. I didn't want him to. I didn't want or even need pity.

"He won't tell me anything." I corrected. I knew he wouldn't tell me anything. Not unless I did something about it. "I don't know if that's good or bad or what." I said, tears filling my eyes. If Derek was hiding something from me, I really wish I would know how to find an answer.

Scott sat down beside me and patted my knee. "I don't think it's horribly bad, Mandy."

"It's still bad, Scott. Don't bother sugar coating it." I said harshly, feeling guilty for being mean to Scott. He was only trying to help.

"Derek has a long history no one knows about." He started, not making me feel better at all. There was more Derek was keeping from me? Great. Just great. "But he's not trying to repeat it."

"I'm trying to get him to open up to me, to tell me what's going on. He won't tell me anything anymore. And he wonders why I haven't been open with him." I said, wiping a hand over my eyes. I didn't want to cry. Not over this. Not over Derek.

I was sick and tired of being pushed away. I wasn't going to let him hurt me again. I wasn't going to be weak.

"If Derek didn't love you, you wouldn't even know he's a wolf." Scott said, almost talking to himself.

I got to my feet and headed inside. "I don't feel bad for being friends with you. I especially don't feel bad for what I'm about to do."

"What's that?" He asked, catching up with my quickly.

I looked up at him. He towered over me, being freakishly taller than me. "I'm gonna use magic."


	8. Is It The End?

**Chapter8-Is It The End?**

I sat down on the floor, spell book in hand, and shut my eyes. The whole room was completely silent. To me, at least.

I flipped to the right page and mumbled the words. It was simple. All I had to do was say the spell and call Derek. He would tell me everything I needed to know. Everything he didn't want to tell me.

"What do you have to do?" Scott asked as he sat down beside me.

I held a finger up, not looking at him, and mumbled the soft words. My hair blew up around my face and that was it. I had done it.

I opened my eyes and looked up at Scott. "If he comes over, you have to hide."

"So I don't have to leave?" He asked, looking over at me. I knew what he was thinking. He was wondering why I would need him to hear this. But it was simple. If Derek didn't tell me the truth, Scott would be able to separate the lies out.

I shook my head. "I want to be sure it works. And I know he's told you stuff I don't know."

Suddenly my phone started ringing beside me. I sighed when I saw who it was.

"Derek, I-" I started, wanted to get the first word in. I was shut out quickly.

"Mandy, can I come over?"

I rolled my eyes at Scott. "I guess."

"Your mom isn't home, is she?" He asked slowly.

I bit my lip. What was I supposed to tell him? And what could he possibly mean by that? "Why do you want to know?"

"I just want to talk to you alone." He said, sounding confused as to why I asked.

I sighed. "I'm home alone. But I'm sure Sam's coming home soon."

"Then I'll be quick." He said before hanging up.

I looked up at Scott, my thoughts jumbled together. "You need to hide."

"Hide? Where?" He asked, getting to his feet.

I grabbed my book and hid it where I always did: behind my dresser. I opened the closet and moved some clothes out of the way. "Hide in here. And try not to make noise."

Scott rolled his eyes. "I know Derek, Mandy."

"So do I." I pointed out, shoving him into the darkened space. I sighed and shut the door behind me, not listening to Scott talk to me.

I headed downstairs and was just stuffing my face with a handful of cereal when the doorbell rang. I took a deep breath and walked to get the door.

"Mandy, I have to talk to you." He said once he saw me.

I took his hand and led him inside. "I know. I need to talk to you too."

* * *

><p>"I really am sorry I left you." He said softly, entwining his fingers with mine.<p>

I looked from him to our hands, still processing it all. He hadn't hid much of anything from me. Only the reason he left. Why had he felt the need to hide that from me?

"I never got the chance to tell you about my magic." I mumbled, hiding my face in his shoulder.

"I left at a really bad time. For both of us."

I let go of his hand and leaned over him, pressing my lips to his. "It's not so bad now."

He looked up at me, stroking my cheek gently. "I lied to you, Mandy. More than I wanted to."

I shrugged even though it was killing me. "I used magic against you. I knew some of it all along."

"I guess I shouldn't be upset." He mumbled, taking a deep breath that moved both of us.

"Derek, I feel like we're not being honest with each other. And I don't want our relationship to be like that."

He brushed my tears off my cheeks with a shaking thumb, before kissing me gently. "Is this the end?"


	9. Apologies In The Air

**Chapter9-Apologies In The Air**

Derek pulled me onto his lap and hugged me so tightly. He kissed me, his lips shaking. He was scared, freaked. That would soon make him desperate.

"Derek, stop." I said, pushing against him.

He pulled away, giving me breathing room, and gave me a sad look. "Please tell me why."

"I'm so tired of trying to keep us together when I'm so afraid you'll leave me. I don't want to sit around, hoping you'll change your mind." I said, tears falling from my eyes. My voice was thick and heavy, shaking as it passed through my lips. I was losing it, falling apart over him. It shouldn't be that way.

Derek stroked my hair back, away from my face. "I love you, Mandy. That's why I haven't left you."

"I don't believe you." I said in a soft voice.

"Please, Mandy." He said sadly.

I pushed away from him and got to my feet. "I can't do this, Derek."

"What about-"

I shook my head. "I've already given you a second chance. I don't have anymore left to give you."

He got to his feet, too, and I knew he was getting upset with me. I didn't care. It didn't bother me. "You want to know why I left? All my family's _dead_. I had no one. And not even you could have fixed me. I didn't want to drag you down with me."

I wiped away my tears and took a deep breath. "You should be honest with me. If you love me like I love you, we shouldn't have secrets."

He took my hand in his, hard and strong, and pulled me into the circle of his arms. "It was so hard for me. I needed to get over it before I could tell anyone."

I looked away from him, avoiding his eyes. The guilt I felt was shinning through me as if there were holes in me. I wasn't going to accept his apology so easily. I wasn't letting him get away like that. Not again.

"I really am sorry, Mandy." He said, pulling my hair away from my face so he could see me better.

I wiped my cheek again, wishing I could stop crying for one second. "Can you just take me home?"

* * *

><p>I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know what I was going to say to Derek. To anyone.<p>

I didn't want to lose him, I didn't want to call it quits. But somewhere, in the back of my mind, it told me it was the right thing to do.

How could I break up with Derek? After all that's happened between him. Between us. It seemed so hard. Too hard, too impossible.

I hid my face in my pillow, still crying. I couldn't possibly do it. I couldn't think of the words, I couldn't find any. I, myself, didn't want it to be over.

But it would happen. Sometime.

Someone knocked on my door quietly. "Mandy?"

I groaned into the pillow. What was he doing here?

The door opened then closed softly. He walked over to me and sat down on the edge of my bed. "Hey."

I looked up at him, through my tear stained eyes. "Why are you here?"

He wiped the tears from my face and spoke softly to me. "I have something for you."

I sat up on my bed, pulling my knees up to my chest. "What?"

He slipped a key into my hand, holding his hand to mine for a few seconds. "This key. I want you to keep it. I don't think it will do much to convince you that I love you but I just want to you have it. I found an apartment not far away. You can come and stay whenever you want."

He was serious. Really serious about me being with him. He was so desperate about keeping me with him. Keeping us together. He didn't want to let me go. He hadn't been so cold. He hadn't been so awful. _I_ was awful. And he should know that.

I pushed him onto his back and climbed over him in a quick motion. I kissed him, keeping him from speaking or even thinking, for that matter. When I pulled back, I wasn't crying. I didn't feel so bad. "Derek Hale, I hate you so much I could hit you."

His smile was forced, as if he didn't know if it was a good thing or not.

I smiled and kissed him again. "Seriously. If I hated you, I wouldn't tell you. Don't get so worried." I ran my fingers through his hair and sighed, content in his arms.

"Why did you suddenly change your mind about everything? About me?" He asked, his voice low and soft.

"I was wrong. I snuck around with Scott, trying to figure out if you still wanted to leave. I didn't focus on anything good. I didn't listen to the good you tried to tell me about." I said, sighing again. I sat up and picked at a small hole in his shirt. "I was so stupid."

"You'll never be stupid, Mandy."

I rolled my eyes and laced my fingers with his. "You have to say that. You're my boyfriend."

"So... we're okay?" He asked hesitantly.

I held up the key, for proof. "I would have given this back to you if we weren't. But I'm keeping it."

He sat up as best he could, since I was sitting on him, and kissed me. I pulled myself into his body which sent us both onto the floor. I laughed and put the key on my bedside table.

Derek helped me sit up then he wrapped his arms around me. Downstairs, I heard Scott talking to my sister.

I sighed and got up to shut my door. "Looks like we're being interrupting."

Derek took my hand and smiled. "We can go to my place."

I looked up at him and smiled. I spoke a few words and we were inside a whole different room. Derek's apartment was about the size of my house, if a little smaller. The room we were in was his bed room. A large bed laid by a window, a rug covering the floor.

"You live here?" I asked, looking around some more.

"How did you know to come here?" He asked, confused.

"It smells like you." I said, then kissed him.


	10. Just Leave

**Chapter10-Just Leave**

'Mandy? Where are you?' Scott asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Why do you want to know?"

'I need to talk to you. Face to face.' He said, sounding panicked.

"I'm not home. Sorry." I said, opening the fridge.

'I know that. I'm here and... you aren't... obviously.'

I rolled my eyes. "Scott, can we do this later? I'm busy."

'I need to talk to you. Now.'

I sighed. Didn't he notice my tone? I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to run to help him out. Not today. I knew that was selfish but... I was just... I don't know.

'Please, Mandy.' He begged.

"You owe me." I said, grabbing my purse from the small table. It's a good thing I didn't tell Derek I'd stop by. I walked out the door and cut through the backyards of houses. The walk from my house to Derek's wasn't far. But it was a walk.

I was there in under ten minutes. Scott was waiting, rubbing his hands together nervously. What has gotten into him?

"What-" I started. I was interrupted. No chance in speaking.

He attacked me with a hug. "I screwed up."

"Ow. Okay. What did you do?" I asked, pushing him away.

He sighed. "Sam broke up with me."

"What? Why?" I said, pulling him to the porch steps. I sat down beside him and took his hand.

"Something's been bothering her for a while now. When I finally asked what was going on, she broke up with me. Would you know what's wrong with her?"

Thinking back, I had been so caught up in my problems that I hadn't noticed anything wrong with Sam. I was more worried about learning the truth about Derek. Was I really that selfish? All along?

I shook my head. "I didn't notice anything. I-I haven't been talking to her lately."

"Are you fighting?" He asked, looking over at me.

"No... I just haven't been a very... social person lately." I said, sighing. I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Is it because of the whole Derek thing?"

I nodded, pressing my forehead to his shoulder. "It's just got me so stressed out lately. I haven't had time for anything."

"Maybe you should take some time off from being so busy." He said, hugging me.

"I don't have any time." I groaned.

"Then I'll stop bugging you about stuff."

I shook my head. "No, that's not what I meant. I just... I've been so caught up in my mess with Derek that I haven't done anything for anyone." I sighed. "I didn't even want to see you today. Not until you begged and made me feel bad."

He laughed. "So it took my pain to get you out of being selfish? Maybe I should get hurt more often."

"Don't do that. It's stupid and you're not stupid." I said, moving my head so my cheek was pressed against his shoulder.

We were quiet then. And I wondered what things would be like if Derek left again. Would I be with Scott? Even after my little sister dated him?

It was weird to think about but I could see it. I could see him kissing me... and hugging me... and telling me everything would be okay. He'd be everything Derek was... but he'd be here... with me. Suffering along with me.

I sighed and pulled away from him. No, no. I shouldn't think that way. It wasn't right. I was dating Derek. I loved him and he loved me. And as long as he was here... with me... I wouldn't dare think of Scott that way. I shouldn't... but I did.

"Mandy?" Scott asked. Had he been talking all that time? Huh.

"Uh-what?" I asked, looking up at him.

He laughed. "You weren't paying attention, were you?"

"Sorry, no. What were you saying?"

"I think I'm gonna head home. Will you talk to your sister for me?"

"I will." I said, standing up beside him. He was taller than me, by at least a foot.

He smiled. "Thanks."

I hugged him gently. "Bye, Scott."

* * *

><p>"Do I ever get a warning?" I asked, walking into my room to see Derek on my bed.<p>

He smiled. "I don't think so."

I sat down beside him on my bed and kissed him. I still hadn't said anything to Sam about Scott yet. Derek didn't even know I talked to Scott at all. Maybe that was a good thing.

Derek ran his fingers through my hair softly. "I tried calling you."

I went to get my phone from my pocket only to realize I left it in my car. I'd been doing that a lot lately. "Sorry. I haven't used it all day." Except when Scott called me, I reminded myself.

He kissed my nose softly. "I figured you'd want to see me."

"Obviously." I whispered, shutting my eyes.

He smiled against my lips and pulled back, leaving me waiting. "Scott told me he talked to you today."

I nodded. "Yeah... we talked." I said, sitting back against my pillows.

Derek's smile wasn't there anymore. He was watching me, waiting for me to say anything more.

I looked up at him, not smiling either. "You look jealous."

He didn't say anything. No shrugs, no shaking of his head. No body movement what so ever.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed him lightly, shutting my eyes. "I hate this. All this... fighting between us."

He wrapped his arms around my waist. Nothing more, nothing less. He didn't say anything back.

I pushed away from him and got to my feet. "I don't even know why I try anymore, Derek. It's obvious that you don't want this anymore. That you don't want me. Just go. I'm done trying."

He got to his feet slowly, afraid I'd hurt him. "Mandy..."

I pointed to the door, tears blurring everything I saw. "Just. Leave."

He watched me for a few heartbeats. Then he was gone.

I collapsed onto the floor and my tears flowed out swiftly. I couldn't handle this. The pain, the torture. I just couldn't. No matter how much I loved Derek... I couldn't stay.


	11. Lydia

**Chapter11-Lydia**

I pulled my hair over my left shoulder and sighed. I stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes were rounded with dark circles, my hair was stingy and lifeless, my skin was pale. Everything about me was... gray... nothing.

I shut my eyes and turned away. I couldn't look at myself. I couldn't deal with this. I couldn't deal with anything anymore.

I ran down the steps, ignoring Sam as she tried to talk to me. I got into my car and drove off.

It was raining outside. The sky was a nasty gray, the clouds dark and angry. The rain beat down on everything harshly, aggressive in it's wake. The air was cold, sending goosebumps all over my exposed skin. The wind blew heavily, sending leaves all over the road.

I cranked the heat up in my car and sighed, waiting at one of the town's few stop lights. It was red. No cars were near me at all. Yet I had to wait a long time.

When the light finally changed, I turned left, driving down a poorly fixed road with many bumps.

I stopped my car close to the woods and got out. I locked the door and dumped the keys into my pocket. I took a deep breath and walked into the depths of the trees.

A girl was sitting on a pile of leaves, staring down at a book. Her wavy hair hung over one side of her face, making her look like a shy, quiet girl. I knew better.

"Lydia, I'm here." I said, taking a seat beside her.

She looked up at me and shut her book quickly. "We should do this now. Before the sun sets."

I nodded. "What do I have to do?"

She took my hand and flipped my palm up. "I have something written down on a piece of paper that you can say. It will make things... right."

I nodded silently.

She handed me the paper which I took in my other hand. "Just say that, loud and clear."

"_Vidi, Nimis diu. Facere mutatio in me, Non esse fortis."_

Lydia smiled and dropped my hand. Her smile was off. Something was wrong.

I gasped, a pain appearing behind my eyes. The wind swirled around me, sending me into the air. I collapsed onto my stomach, everything clearing from my head. I was unconscious, unable to protect myself.

Little did I know, that wasn't the end of things that day.

* * *

><p>I woke up in a bed. A bed I didn't recognize. When I looked at the alarm clock, it was three in the afternoon.<p>

I got to my feet and stretched. It felt like I'd gotten a lot of sleep. But how mcuh?

I peeled my jeans off and walked through the apartment with my long t-shirt on. I found Derek in the kitchen, cutting up some fruit.

I sighed and sat down at the bar. I ran a hand through my greasy hair. It must have been a long time.

He looked over his shoulder and saw me. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel exhausted." I said, then realized the obvious. "Why am I here?"

"I found you in the woods." He said, not looking back at me this time.

"You found me?" I asked softly.

He put the knife in the sink and turned around to face me. "Why were you in the woods? You were alone... sleeping."

"I was with... Lydia." I said, my voice dying out. My eyes widened as the worst came to mind. I jumped to my feet and ran for the bathroom. I gripped the counter in my hands as I stared at myself in the mirror.

Something was wrong. Horribly wrong. I didn't look like myself. Something changed. Something happened.

Lydia. She must have done it. But how did she?

"Mandy, what's wrong?" Derek asked in the door way, his hands gripping the doorframe.

I collapsed to the small rug on the floor, in too much shock to stand any longer.

Derek rushed to my side. "Mandy, what is it?"

"She did it... She's been doing it all along." I whispered, my eyes staring at nothing.

She tried killing me. Tried making me vulnerable. What wuold happen next now that I wasn't dead? Would I be targeted again? Or would she not even find out?

"Who did it? Lydia?" Derek asked, taking my hand gently.

I focused on him and swallowed hard. "I don't know what I did. She's trying... she wanted... wants... me dead."


	12. Take A Stand, Fight Back

**Chapter12-Take A Stand, Fight Back**

Derek sat down on the couch at my feet. He looked tired and worried.

"I don't know what I said. It wasn't something I was familiar with." I said softly, picking at my fingers. I didn't want to look at him when I spoke. My guard was down. Everything had been pummeled and I had nothing to protect myself with.

"Did she know it was the wrong spell?"

"She obviously had a good reason to use it. She seemed to know what she was doing." I mumbled, pulling my knees to my chest.

"She wanted to hurt you, all along?" He asked, watching me.

"No, not hurt me. She wanted to-"

Lydia stepped out of the closet and smiled wickedly at us. "I wanted to get you out of the way."

"From what?" I asked, glaring at her.

She walked over to us and ran her fingers through Derek's hair. "I remember you telling me things were rough. I figured I'd do things right."

"I didn't want you to take my powers from me!" I yelled, getting up in her face.

She grabbed my wrist tightly and squeezed painfully. "I don't think you want to do this, Mandy. You don't want to forget where the strength is here."

I tried pulling out of her grip but I was stuck. She was too strong.

"Lydia, let her go." Derek said, freeing me from Lydia's nasty grip.

I took a few steps back, moving away from the crazy girl in front of me. "What's your problem?"

She got really emotional now. She started crying and she didn't look happy. Not. At. All. "I want him! I've always wanted him! I am so sick and tired of you claiming him!"

"I've never claimed him." I whispered softly.

She shook her head. "I don't believe you. You always think he'll be waiting for you. This time, he's taken. By _me_."

"Wait just one damn minute." Derek said, pushing Lydia away from him a little. "I never said I liked you, Lydia. And I never said I would be with you."

"Will you if I say I can kill you?" She asked, pouting.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Get out of here. You don't know what you're doing."

"I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm taking you from that... that _thing_." She said sourly, looking me over.

I ran at her and tackled her to the floor. I hit her hard in the face. "Shut up! You're nuts, Lydia. Just get out of here. No one wants you here."

Lydia wrapped her fingers around my arm and squeezed, her hand turning red. "Say it's over and I'll let you go."

"You think burning me will be the easiest way to go?" I asked, gasping through the pain. My arm was hot, hot like leaving something metal in the sun.

"You'll cave, Mandy. You're _weak_." She said, smiling at me.

I hit her in the middle of her face. She screamed and threw me off her.

"You stupid-" She yelled, her words being cut off. Derek grabbed her arm and yanked her to her feet. He pushed her out the door and locked it.

"Come on. I don't want you here if she comes back." He said, helping me to my feet gently.


	13. Can't Stay Away Long

**Chapter13-Can't Stay Away Long**

"Let me see." He said softly, reaching for my arm across the bench.

I was hesitant, not sure if I wanted him to fix this. Could he?

"I'll be gentle." He said, stroking my hand first.

I gave him my arm and watched him. He ran alcohol over the burn, holding me as I cried from the intense pain.

He put a burn cream over it then wrapped it up in gauze. "It might hurt for a few hours. By then, you'll be used to it."

I wiped my cheeks and looked up at him. "I shouldn't have went to her."

"Why did you go anyway?"

"It's a long story." I said, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"We have time." He said, nodding to the windshield.

I sighed and told him. Told him everything.

He looked miserable. Like I shot him in the chest. It crushed him... deeply. "I kept driving you away."

"I know that if I date you, I'll feel like I did it so Lydia couldn't. And I really do love you. But I just can't keep doing this. It's too hard on both of us." I said, wiping my cheek. I wish it was easier. I didn't want to have to do this to him. But it had to be done. Or I just wouldn't be able to live with myself.

He nodded. "I should've seen this coming. I never was good to you."

I sat back and stared out the window. "Can you take me home?"

"Lydia's still out there, Mandy. It isn't safe." He said, trying to reason with me.

"I'll be fine at my house, Derek. Just take me home." I growled, narrowing my eyes. What was so damn hard about getting home? I wanted to get away from him. It was just too hard to see him.

"She could still hurt you!" He yelled, his voice filling up the silence in the car.

I flinched but kept my ground. I glared at him. "I don't care anymore. I know I can't protect myself but that doesn't mean it could've stopped her before."

"Why can't you understand that I'm only trying to protect you?" He asked, sounding mad.

I tried to get out of the car but it was locked. I gritted my teeth and climbed to the backseat. I moved the lock to the door and got out. I started walking towards my house but Derek caught up quickly.

He grabbed me around the waste and pinned me to the back of the silver car. "Mandy, why won't you listen to me?"

I leaned my head against the window and shut my eyes. If he kissed me, I was going to hurt him. I meant it, too. "I just can't do this... I can't be with you anymore. It's too hard on me. And all your questions and yelling isn't making things easier on me. Why do you think I wanted to go home?"

He stared at me for a second. I saw sadness and pain flash through his brown eyes. It was quickly covered my anger and hatred. He let go of me and went to the car. He opened his door and sat down on the seat, running his hands down his face.

I sat down where I was on the road. He wasn't going to take me home. And I knew it was too far to walk. He made this too hard on me.

I took my phone from my pocket and called Sam.

'Now you want to talk to me?' She asked harshly.

"Sam, I need you." I said, wiping my tears away. Ugh, I hated crying like this.

'So? I've needed you more than you could possibly think. You can forget it.' She said before hanging up.

I sighed and dropped my phone in my lap. I never meant to hurt her. I never wanted things to be ruined like they were. I was just a big screw up.

Laying my forehead against my knees, I curled up. I let everything bottled up inside me come out. I don't know how long it was. I wasn't keeping track of time.

Derek came around and picked me up in his arms. He laid me over the backseat before starting the car.

* * *

><p>"I'll always love you, even when you don't think so. I brought you here as you wanted but I am going to keep an eye on things. If you ever need me, just call out the window. -Derek."<p>

I laid the note on my desk and stared out one of the three windows in my room. He was out there somewhere, waiting for me.

I turned my back on the sunlight and shut my eyes. I remembered loving him so easily it was a second nature for me. He was everything I loved and wanted in a guy. Yet I was making excuses and shutting him out.

I was the one ruining things.

"Someone's here to see you, Mandy. She says her names Lydia." Mom said, outside of my door.

I froze. Lydia was here, in my house? No, she couldn't be! I pressed myself against the door to make sure if she was with mom, they couldn't get in. "I-I'm not feeling too well. Can you tell her to come back in a few days? I think I have the flu or something."

"Sweetheart, just talk to her." Mom said in a whining sort of tone.

"Mom, she'll get sick. Please." I begged, wishign, willing for Derek to come.

"Okay. I'll tell her. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No, uh, I'm just gonna sleep. Maybe that'll help a little." I said, moving from the door slowly. I went to the window and yelled his name. No answer. I did it again only this time he came running from the trees.

I smiled at him but fear was everywhere in my eyes. "I need you."

He climbed his way to my room and wedged himself through the small window. "You look freaked. What's wrong?"

"Lydia was just here, outside my door." I said, moving further from the exit of my room. Maybe she was still there, waiting to prance on me or something.

He went to the door and opened it. No freaky girl waiting to kill me. He headed down the hall, checking the doors to every room. He went into the bathroom and looked out the window to the front of the house. She was gone.

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><p><strong>I'm in need of some stories, either fanfiction or fictionpress, to read. I will review them... as long as you review this story for me :D Thanks bunches!<strong>


	14. Better Or Worse

**Chapter14-Better... Or Worse**

I avoided Scott at school, not wanting to talk to him if he was mad at me. Everyone seemed to be. Sam wouldn't talk to me anymore and, as hard as it sounds, she managed to move around the house without seeing me. I felt like I was using Derek, especially when he sat outside my house 24/7. I wanted to save him some running around. I avoided him, less successfully than Sam was to me though.

I threw my books in my locker, not caring where they went, and slammed the door shut. A few people looked at me but I didn't care. I walked down the hallway and turned left. No one was in this hallway. I opened a door on the right and left school.

I walked around for five minutes before I knew where I was going. I stopped dead in my tracks. The woods. The woods where I met Lydia that day. The day she took my powers from me. And completely ruined everything.

My heart pounded in my chest, making my a little deaf. I closed my eyes, hoping it would calm me down. Why was I so nervous? Lydia wasn't here.

I opened my eyes and she _was_ there. She smiled at me.

"Miss me?" She asked.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked breathlessly.

She laughed. "I'm taking out the trash."

She grabbed a fistful of my hair and threw me, ripping plenty of strands loose.

I collapsed to the ground, unable to fight her back. I glared up at her. "What do you want from me?"

"He only wants you. You stupid little-" In that instant, Derek ran by, as a wolf, and knocked Lydia to the ground. He ripped at her throat with his teeth until her screams were gone. Until _she_ was gone.

The wolf, Derek, looked back at me. It's chest moved deeply twice, two very long seconds, before it took off running.

Shaking and freaked out, I scrambled to my feet. I got as far away from the body as I could. I could handle the death but nothing more.

Before I knew it, I was at my house. I walked inside, ignoring my parents, and went straight to my room. Derek was there, surprisingly. I figured after the little incident he wouldn't want to deal with me much. I was wrong on that part.

He pulled me into his arms and let me cry. That could have been me. All because Lydia was stupid and jealous over nothing. _Nothing_. And I hated that it killed her. Because it made me feel like it was all my fault.

"Mandy, it's okay now. You don't have to be afraid." He said softly, his nose almost touching my cheek.

I moved my face and looked at him. His eyes were dark from barely getting any sleep and he was a little dirty. I kissed him softly, just enough that it mattered and made a difference in things and just little enough that we wouldn't get carried away, and pressed my forehead to his. "Will you stay with me?"

I hadn't meant just staying in my room tonight. I meant... forever. As long as possible.

He kissed me, his lips barely touching mine, and smiled.

Everything would be better. Somehow.


End file.
